The following situation happens to a friend of mine lately
Huahua is a new member of Nestle company here in Singapore.Because she's new there,it's reasonable that she wants to build the friendship with her colleagues since she will be there for at least the next 2 years.So she tries to start with some small talks.
One day,during lunch time,she happened to hear the age of mandy(one of her female colleagues) from a conversation,in order to cut in that conversation and gain mandy's favor,she said:"oh,i think i am almost at the same age as your child."Then after a short silence,mandy replied:"sorry,i don't have child."Huahua was so embarrassed that she immediately came up with an excuse which made her situation even worse:"oh,it's quite a fashion that many couples don't want to have children."After a longer silence,mandy replied:"sorry,i don't get married".Now,you can imagine how embarrassed huahua was,how terrible her situation was,how humiliated mandy felt and how potentially awful her working life in that company will be.
It's possible that we will fall into this kind of awkward conversation one day.If it's you,how will you fix it?
Huahua is a new member of Nestle company here in Singapore.Because she's new there,it's reasonable that she wants to build the friendship with her colleagues since she will be there for at least the next 2 years.So she tries to start with some small talks.
One day,during lunch time,she happened to hear the age of mandy(one of her female colleagues) from a conversation,in order to cut in that conversation and gain mandy's favor,she said:"oh,i think i am almost at the same age as your child."Then after a short silence,mandy replied:"sorry,i don't have child."Huahua was so embarrassed that she immediately came up with an excuse which made her situation even worse:"oh,it's quite a fashion that many couples don't want to have children."After a longer silence,mandy replied:"sorry,i don't get married".Now,you can imagine how embarrassed huahua was,how terrible her situation was,how humiliated mandy felt and how potentially awful her working life in that company will be.
It's possible that we will fall into this kind of awkward conversation one day.If it's you,how will you fix it?
hi vikki,
ReplyDeleteI think the situation you mentioned is rather interesting and quite comical also:D
It is probably the uncertainty of a new working environment that made Huahua behave in such awkward manner. If i were her, i will immediately apologize to Mandy and try to say something in a light-hearted tone to neutralize the atmosphere such as "oh so silly of me". It will probably be wiser for Huahua to lead the conversation to less personal topics such as work-related things since she is still a stranger to her colleagues. Also, it will be helpful to her to be an active listener to the conversations for a while before trying to take part in them.
In any case, it is equally important that Huahua maintains an optimistic and cheerful mindset as one's feelings are often manifested in one's actions. She must not let herself be depressed because of this incident as it may make it harder for her colleagues to approach her in the future. She should ontinue to be friendly and attentive to her colleagues and slowly she will be able to get on fine with them. What will you do actually?
Hi another thing is that i find the phrase "i don't get married" a little strange. Perhaps you can say "I am not married yet" instead.
加油！Look forward to the next post :D
Dear Vikki,
ReplyDeleteThis is interesting, and a clear and concisely described scenario. I won't comment further on the conflict since that is the task of your blogging partners, but I will say that you need to use capitalized first letters for proper names like Mandy and for the pronoun "I." Even something simple like that will give your writing more of a professional look.
Thanks for your hard work!
Hey Vikki!
ReplyDeleteI feel that if Huahua is able to apologize sincerely, Mandy would probably understand her mistake as she is just new and eager to join in their conversation. Huahua needs to be more careful with her words, think before reacting. Don't just blurt out an excuse!
I think that Huahua must not be discourage right now and think that she will not be accepted by the others. Probably Mandy is quite sensitive with her age and marital status. I guess Huahua might just not mention about these issues again but start a topic which interests Mandy when there is a chance. This might allow Mandy to know her better and not judge her too quickly.
=)
Hi Vikki,
ReplyDeleteI dont find anything wrong in HuaHua taking a step to making friends but yes I think it would have been better if she paid some attention to the conversation before cutting into the conversation.
Well, if I was in HuaHua's position I'd also be quite taken back that I wouldn't know what to say immediately. But lateron I'd probably invite Mandy for say dinner the same day or for lunch the next day. During the meal, when Mandy is in a good mood, I will bring up the topic delicately.Then, I'll try to express my sincere apologies and hope that Mandy understands.
Mandy seems to be an older person so I think Mandy would have reached the maturity level to understand HuaHua's blunder and to forgive her. At the same time I don't think its wise for HuaHua to mention this topic again or like Sze hui and Jing Yang said to talk about personal stuff, age or marital status.
Dear Vikki,
ReplyDeleteI agree that this is a very common situation and sometimes, I do experience such awkward circumstances where I actually blurt out somethings not tactful. I'm quite a straight forward person.
I think that Huahua should find out from her other colleagues if Mandy is the petty type. If she is, then I suggest that Huahua should at least apologize for blurting out insensitive words and also take the chance to make friends with Mandy. Like what the Chinese always say, 不打不相识！(for the non chinese, it just means that you will get to know the person better after having a small misunderstanding. I hope I don't get the meaning wrong. Haha Otherwise, i suggest Huahua to just learn from her lesson and be more tactful when it comes to discussing such personal issues. I think it is not wise to bring up the embarrased situation again.
Cheers!
Hope Brad doesn't mind me using Chinese language just for this time! Shy!
Hey Vikki,
ReplyDeleteI guess it is just a simple misunderstanding problem.
I will suggest that your friend to apologise to the Mandy first. Once that is done, see whether Mandy accepts it. If she accepts it, that means she has forgiven your friend; your friend would now be able to talk to her more and through the process, know a new friend! Isn't that what she wanted ? =D
If Mandy doesn't accept it, I guess she has a petty personality. Your friend should not be troubled over that and should just move on and approach others to be friends with. Remember that she has to be at that place for 2 years! Rather be happy than miserable right? Hope it will help.
Cheers!!!
Hi Vikki,
ReplyDeleteTo solve this problem, one simple way is to apologise to Mandy, hoping that she will understand. Besides, in Hua hua's next conversation with Mandy, she can try to avoid talking about personal stuff. Perhaps, she can start the conversation with a work-related topic. Meanwhile, Huahua should continue to be friendly and make more friends in the company:)